tales from a fangirl
Just a little bit of scribbling, mostly from Connor's POV 
9th-Nov-2013 10:00 pm
perfect happiness


Darla, he thinks.

Connor's cocoon was a silent tomb. There was no rushing of blood, no noises or gurgles, no heartbeat to rock him in the wee hours.

He doesn't remember it, of course, the dead stillness of his mother's body around him.

But he searches for those missing sounds anyway, from Holtz in the early years (only to be rebuffed with a growl) and, maybe, later, from the man who says he's his father. Maybe for a minute, before he remembers his history lessons, before he returns the man's open palms with closed fists.

Brutality is what he knows, as familiar to him as the lullaby Holtz hummed in the night, for his dead children.

It's not until Cordelia enfolds him against her glow-bright body, and strokes a warm hand down his back, that he hears it.

thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump

The sound washes over him, strong and sure, her breastbone warm and solid against his ear.

The primitive part of his brain rushes back over the years, to the time before he was.

His arms snake around her waist, his roughened palms rasping softly over the chiffon material of her top, and he sighs and leans into the song of her heartbeat, letting it wash over him until he can't hear anything else.

Cordelia, he thinks.

~~


Comments 
10th-Nov-2013 11:50 am (UTC)
Gorgeous! really, really lovely.
11th-Nov-2013 08:10 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm so glad you stopped by for a gander. :)
10th-Nov-2013 07:15 pm (UTC)
Your fics bring me to tears. Poor baby Connor! It chills me to think of his silent womb. Thanks for this.
11th-Nov-2013 08:11 pm (UTC)
It was a pleasure, of sorts, to write, so thank you for reading. :)
11th-Nov-2013 05:05 pm (UTC)
Connor's cocoon was a silent tomb. There was no rushing of blood, no noises or gurgles, no heartbeat to rock him in the wee hours.

Oh! Beautiful and chilling. Poor baby boy.

I miss him a lot. Thank you for making me miss him a little less.
11th-Nov-2013 08:13 pm (UTC)
And thank you for reading. :)
11th-Nov-2013 07:26 pm (UTC)
That moment was a lovely moment and you did a fabulous job of capturing it. I never considered the silence of Darla's body. You always amaze me with the places your mind goes.

It's really too bad this didn't happen when he was a child instead of hormonal teenager. Maybe then he would have taken that comfort and warmth as motherly instead of sexually charged.
11th-Nov-2013 08:16 pm (UTC)
I think we're going to be mourning forever that Connor didn't come back just a little sooner. Teen!Connor was just too broken.

I've been at Volition lately, reading. It's recharging the batteries a little. :P
14th-Nov-2013 12:29 am (UTC)
this one is very nice. There are a lot of others on Go Team C/A and Angel's Archive that I'm sure you'd give a amazing sequel!I'm sure we Cordy/Angel fans you'de be glad seein something like that happens! :D
17th-Nov-2013 03:13 am (UTC)
Thanks for reading, and for the encouragement but the fics up at those sites belong to other writers and it wouldn't be right poaching them. I also don't think I'd be able to justify where they were headed. :)
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