Not the episode!
Okay, so this is a little out of left field because I don't usually discuss things like this - though, because of my work, I am usually thinking about it - but I felt it was important to post. Even though someone, somewhere, has probably made this connection before. More than once. But I arrived at it all on my own, so I'm proud. And I don't think I would have ever given it a second thought if I hadn't spent most of the last six years in fandom.
LJ is so good for educating people who never went to college, LOL.
Anyway, my co-worker, S, and I were discussing being in elementary school and being relentlessly teased and/or tortured by boys. I was telling her about being hit by a boy and being pushed and had rocks dropped on my foot by them. She was telling me her stories too, and how our parents would always say "he pulls your hair and pushes you down because he likes you". And while I was saying the words, it just hit me that, omg, this
is why women tend to believe their abusers love them. I mean, it's not the WHOLE reason, but it contributes. If we're telling our daughters when they're eight and nine years old that the boys in school are mean to them because they like them but don't know how to express it, we're possibly conditioning them - in their teens and older - to believe that the boys who restrain them and hit them and kick them and worse, are doing it because they really care about them.
Ugh. I was just telling my daughter the other day that a boy at school who was mean to her probably likes her.
Now I want to wash my mouth out with soap because omg, why is it okay for me to excuse that boy's behavior in such a way? The fact that he likes her should be incidental to the fact that he's being mean to her.
Well, lesson learned.