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tales from a fangirl
Danger, work rant ahead. Feel free to skip. 
5th-May-2007 11:51 am

Dear universe,

Last week, there was far too much work stress for what I actually do. If I'm going to get muscle spasms behind my neck, let it be because I failed to save a puppy from being road kill, or my novel got rejected by the tenth publisher. Please don't let it be because I couldn't help some schlub get his order out one day ahead of the scheduled ship date.

Dear customers,

Don't call me and say you need an order rushed out asap because you left it on your desk for a week and now *your* customer is wondering where it is. Don't tell me you failed to do your job and expect me to make up for it on my end. Don't fail to listen when I tell you production is behind schedule and offer me money to rush it as if money solves all the problems of the world. It doesn't.

The customer service rep you're calling with your need has probably taken fifty calls since eight, half of them whiny/needy, and it's only nine-thirty. Be nice. She/He is the mouth-piece of the corporation run by devils, *not* your punching bag, and def not someone you can try your wit out on. Don't threaten to pull your business if your $50 order doesnt' go out when you're demanding it. They are already doing their best with the tools their soulless corporation has given them, and in the end, they. don't. care. You will be back. You always come back. They've seen it time and again in eleven years. So save it. Don't ask them to run your job at their loss, and don't say it's because their soulless corporation made so much profit last year, so what's the big deal? *They* didn't make that profit last year, but they *will* get their asses chewed off by management if they acquiesce to your 'request'.

Dear co-worker-who-used-to-be-a-salesman-but-got-downsized-to-customer-service-rep,

The bitterness is old. Get your head out of your ass, learn something that will make your job and my life easier, *before* management decides you're a liability and fire you. You sold this stuff for 23 years, as you are so fond of reiterating like a deranged old man sitting on his broken down front porch, so how could it possibly be that much harder to process it on this end? If it's the loss of prestige and status that's getting to you, don't let it bother you. You never had any. As faux!Cordelia said to Angel when Angel was hurt/jealous/furiously angry over the Connor 'incident', "Get over it." You were downsized by a man who was looking to show a high profit his first year in the captain's chair. It was no reflection on you. Stop obsessively journaling every move management makes before I start to think you're just going to go postal one day. I sit next to you, so that wouldn't work for me.

Dear co-workers-who-chose-to-go-on-vacation-the-same-week-and-left-us-trying-to-keep-our- heads-above-water,

I hope you all got sunburned.

*eye twitches*

I need a new damn job.
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