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tales from a fangirl
I'm an addict. Don't hate me. 
22nd-Mar-2008 01:17 pm
Title: I Remember a Pillow
Pairing: CC/DB RPF
Summary: Based on CC’s pillow comment at the Paley Reunion. *coughs*
Rating: PG-13 for two swear words and a buttload of angst.
Disclaimer: These are real people with real lives. My fic is from my imagination only, and should not be taken as truth. I love them, so I play with them. That is all.
Notes: Oh *come on*, like ya’ll didn’t see this coming. *rolls eyes*


They’ve made decisions that didn’t include the other.

He’s married.

So is she.

If it isn’t too each other, well. That’s a regret best left buried in their hearts, out of the sunlight where it won’t grow like weeds, choking everything good in their lives.

He’s a new father and in too short a time, she’ll be a new mother.

And here they are again, enacting a love scene that brings back memories of sweetness and pain so sharp they both have to shut down to get through it.

It took five takes before he had enough. Five takes of holding her and kissing her and pulling her clothes off and lying on top of her on a bed and dammit, of course he’d react.

His body will always react to hers, his heart following like a faithful puppy, not knowing any other way.

Regardless of other lives and other loves.

It’s just the way things are, even if the way she looks up at him hurts, almost the exact same kind of look she had in her eyes the first time Jaime visited the set.

She murmurs his name softly, and he nods before climbing off of her, unable to stop himself from sliding along her body, just a little. The bump is getting a little bit bigger and he’s careful to keep his weight off of her and her brand new life that’s growing like Jamie grew.

He leaves the set without a word, and the crew waits. They’re used to the current running between David and Charisma, and they know that nothing will help but time.

So they wait. Coffee is poured and the Kraft table is raided for an evening sugar rush as they all talk quietly about their weekend plans, whether the show will be cancelled or not, the usual bullshit while the stars work through their issues.

Charisma sits up eventually so that the baby doesn’t settle on her spine again. Her hand goes to her belly, softly stroking. She glances at the door David went through, her face unreadable.

When David comes back, he’s composed, holding a pillow from his trailer.

Everyone hastily gets back to their stations, ready to finish the scene, eager to home to their own families.

Charisma lies back down, arranging herself.

He stands at the edge of the mattress and gazes down at her, holding the pillow in front of him like armour.

She stares back up at him until someone coughs. David blinks at the reminder that time is money and puts one knee on the bed, settling back on top of her. She lies back down and adjusts her position for the lights and camera angles.

He slides the pillow gently between their hips, and nods to the director over his shoulder.

It’s easier to pretend after that.


I’m gonna go pray for my soul or something. *wanders off*
22nd-Mar-2008 10:36 pm (UTC)
I was so expecting something lol. You totally delivered :D

Wow, *sniffs* Angsty, but that definitely makes it more real, if they really were in that situation(which we like to think ;D). So so good, girl ♥
23rd-Mar-2008 12:44 am (UTC)

I make every innocent little statement about cc/db because they make it so damned easy! Also, I'm pathetic.

But at least it entertained you. :P

23rd-Mar-2008 12:08 am (UTC)
OMG OMG!!! How great was this??? Hot and angsty and wonderful. GUH. By the by, how great was that Charisma interview? I LOVE her.

And Charisma and David are besties!
23rd-Mar-2008 12:49 am (UTC)
CC makes it so easy when she gets interviewed about her Angel years, I swear. I love that they stay in touch as well, but you know, it makes sense. They both had their kids within a year or so of each other, and it was always clear that they liked each other when they were doing the show. The way they smiled at each other....*swoons*

She was so wonderful during her interview. I didn't think it was possible but I'm more gay for her today than I was Thursday. :D
23rd-Mar-2008 02:28 am (UTC)
Where is this interview of which you speak? I want to be gayer for Charisma, too!
23rd-Mar-2008 02:46 am (UTC)
Have a link, courtesy of nikkiwawa79!


Just click on Charisma's. Have you seen her pics from the Paley event?? Words like goddess and hot do not begin to cover it, girlfriend.

oh, and have you joined Stranger Things? It's a CC and C/A fanboard. We mostly gush over Charisma, Cordelia and C/A, post fic and art and gush some more over Charisma and Cordelia. It's the best place to get news about Charisma.
23rd-Mar-2008 02:50 am (UTC)
I definitely saw the photos. And goddess DOES come to mind. I have Charisma on my google alerts, but haven't been paying attention because I've been super sick with bronchitis *feel sorry for me* and am a total cry-buffy about it. For real.

Thanks for the link!
23rd-Mar-2008 02:54 am (UTC)
No problem. :D

And chronic, yearly bronchitis is the reason why I take three different kinds of medication so I feel for you. :(

Of course I loved the DB mentions, but really, the unexpected Buffy/Cordelia suggestions made me wish for more better fic for those two. I'd read it. :D
23rd-Mar-2008 03:04 am (UTC)
Dude, I just watched it... She actually asked Eliza Dushku to kiss her. I'm speechless.

Go read carlyinrome's stuff. She's so good with the Cordy/Buffy. Let me dig a few up for you. Hang on.

23rd-Mar-2008 03:10 am (UTC)
I've read a few of carlyinrome's C/B stuff and she *is* good.

But I'll take more recs if ya got 'em. :D
23rd-Mar-2008 03:19 am (UTC)
Okay, so I can't find the C/B story I was thinking of, but in the meantime...

Carly wrote this for me.

This is just fucked up and hot.

I'll find the C/B story I was thinking of sooner or later!
23rd-Mar-2008 03:31 am (UTC)
The first one I've read, and loved enough to leave FB. I didn't pay enough attention to who it was for, though. Thanks for requesting that.

The second I hadn't seen before and it's as fucked up and hot as you said. Thanks!
23rd-Mar-2008 05:44 pm (UTC)
We are all addicts, for sure, but this was so heartbreaking and angsty. But that is pretty much all we get. No happy ending. You do write such amazing angst, so hurtful and just gah! feeling at the end.
23rd-Mar-2008 07:06 pm (UTC)
You never know, Liv, we could still get that happy ending. Some day, when the kids are grown. *is hopeful in the face of reality* We're halfway there already, lol.

Okay, it's apparent that DB and CC are living their lives solely for our benefit, right?

I'm so gone.

Thanks for liking the angst. I really need to try fluffy but these two were made to hurt.
24th-Mar-2008 12:34 am (UTC)
I was kind of hoping the pillow she was talking about was the one behind her head - kind of steering the subject away from DB's big cock between her legs. ;) But this works, too, for the angsty alternative. I don't know what I'll do if you ever fall out of love with these two. I will have to abandon the internet because it won't be worth the money. *hugs*
24th-Mar-2008 02:21 am (UTC)
I don't know what I'll do if you ever fall out of love with these two.

Never gonna happen. I'm thinking of getting their names tattooed on my ass. C/A, I mean, not CC and DB.

I will have to abandon the internet because it won't be worth the money.

Not as long as I'm around. I need another angst tale from you because you are so goddamned good at hurting me with your vids and your angst fic. *g* Plus. Icons.
24th-Mar-2008 09:16 pm (UTC)
That was so awesome =)

I loved it! I'd love for a whole series to come out of this, where they eventually get together. Of course, the series would be full of angst, because CC/DB cheating on their spouses, their spouses finding out, their families finding out, etc. etc. etc. But still! I'm just *dying* for a CC/DB serial fic (or series of serial fics!).

One problem I spotted, though. 4th sentence in. If it isn’t too each other, well. The 'too' is supposed to be 'to.' The last 'o' means very much or in addition, which is the wrong usage in this sentence.
25th-Mar-2008 11:59 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Not sure I've got a series in me, but it's a thought.

And thanks for the correction!
26th-Mar-2008 02:51 am (UTC)
Either that, or a series dedicated to CC & DB courting/dating, getting married & having kids throughout the "lifespan" of BtVS & AtS. That would be *totally* awesome ;)
25th-Mar-2008 04:46 pm (UTC)
Nice! :)
25th-Mar-2008 11:59 pm (UTC)
Hey there!

Thank you. :D
(Deleted comment)
26th-Mar-2008 12:04 am (UTC)
Not a horrid fan!

Some sort of reunion with some Buffy actors happened a few days ago and CC was part of it. Afterwards, an interviewer asked her about a Cordy/Angel love scene from s3 and CC almost got naughty with her response, saying something about remembering that there was a pillow. lol

I, of course, immediately went to a dirty place (because
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Not a horrid fan!

Some sort of reunion with some Buffy actors happened a few days ago and CC was part of it. Afterwards, an interviewer asked her about a Cordy/Angel love scene from s3 and CC almost got naughty with her response, saying something about remembering that there was a pillow. lol

I, of course, immediately went to a dirty place (because <she</i> almost did, cutting herself off and saying 'never mind') and wrote this up. As usual, it was meant to be fluffy and dirty but it came out angsty. *sigh*

thanks for commenting! :D
26th-Mar-2008 12:05 am (UTC)
One of these days, I'm gonna learn to post good. *sigh*
26th-Mar-2008 02:55 am (UTC)
one day i talk pritty!
26th-Mar-2008 02:53 am (UTC)
28th-Mar-2008 02:09 pm (UTC)
How did I miss this? i'm such a bad, bad friend!

*slaps self*

Just so sad and lovely and hurty.

But I confess I don't get the pillow thing -- I wonder if that's something 'considerate' actors do for their scene partners. Hrrrm. i'll be thinkin' on that for awhile.

But did I say I loved this? Because I do!
29th-Mar-2008 12:48 am (UTC)
lol - you're not a bad friend, just a busy one. No worries!

At the Paley event, an interviewer asked Charisma about a sex scene between Cordy and Angel (never clear if they were talking about the one in WiTW or Awakening, though) and Charisma, with a twinkle in her eye, said she remembered there being a pillow there and then she laughed and the interviewer said something and Charisma blew it off and said something about maybe she shouldn't say what she was gonna say. Then she was talking about DB and saying how they still ran into each other at the gym and the park.

About forty C/A shippers who got linked to that immediately started with the dirty thoughts and jokes..........and I ran for the head of the line by writing fic about it. It wasn't supposed to be angsty but I can't seem to help myself.

Anyway, thanks for reading, sweetie. *bwah*
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